Wednesday, March 29, 2006

凤眼、眼镜及猫头鹰

屋漏偏逢连夜雨,前两天下午在办公室不停地留鼻涕,于是打算一回到家就好好地睡个大头觉。一回到家就迫不及待地欲除下隐形眼镜,怎知隐形眼镜竟然除不下来,鼻涕却如缺缇海水一样直流,这时候冷不胜防地打了个喷嚏,啊,这个喷嚏的代价可大了。我的隐形眼镜就这样弹了出来,从此失去踪影。我以纸巾塞住鼻孔,顶着昏昏欲睡的脑袋,努力地把桌子抹了又抹,势必把它揪出来;大半个小时过去了,还是徒劳无功。我只好弃权,想到400大元又要和那可恶的隐形眼镜一样飞走了,睡意全消。

搁天我只好以那超千厚度的眼镜示人,一踏进办公室即听到同事说:啊,猫女~~呜呜呜,竟然还是摆脱不了当猫头鹰或者猫女的厄运。原以为换了副时下最时髦的眼镜,会让自己看起来象个人样,哎,人算不如天算,最终还是一样隶属于“猫”的家族。

凤眼,一直是我的特征。我常常感叹生不逢时,如果生长在古代,那个凤眼称霸的年代,我一定可以古典美人自居。奈何,造化弄人,我就偏偏生长在这个被浓密大眼占据的年代。凤眼,徒为自己的脸庞增添几分恐怖色彩。

我从小就近视,确定年龄我并不清楚。因为当我在念小学三年级的时候,几乎完全看不到黑板上的密密麻麻的字体,妈妈带我去验眼,验眼师说我的眼睛的度数已经超过三百。从此以后,我就以一副又厚又丑的眼镜示人。年复一年,度数日益加深,镜片更厚了。原本已经吊得很高的凤眼,在超厚的镜片背后更愈彰显。

我一直很想歌颂隐形眼镜的发明者。他让无数个猫头鹰可以重见光明,当然,我也因此被打救了。自中三以后,我再也不以猫头鹰的面目示人。我重新找到了自己,原以为自己因此而重生了。但是,多伟大的发明终究会有弊端,隐形眼镜并不适宜佩戴太长的时间,于是,夜晚,我还是顺理成章地成了猫头鹰。

我这猫头鹰的确曾经吓着了很多小孩,小孩看到我那躲在镜片后的“突突”的“关公眼”,都把我归类为害人精。而我,也很有自知之明,不随便招惹小孩,免得被人家的父母以扫把来把我赶出去。

再后来,激光技术出现了。据说可以一劳永逸解决近视问题,嘿嘿,我早就蠢蠢欲动。可以永远远离猫头鹰以及害人精的罪名,如果你也是猫头鹰家族,你一定感同身受而和我一样窃喜。可是,去年咨询了大马极具权威的验眼师,得到的资讯是超过500度数的近视者,如果进行激光治疗,年老的时候将会面对可怕的副作用。我,只好放弃了。

如何让自己在佩戴眼镜时看起来不象个猫头鹰呢?总不可能坐以待毙吧?可是,这毕竟是很棘手的问题啊!冰雪聪明的黄公子最终想到以时下最in最可以遮丑的眼镜来弥补我无法接受激光治疗的遗憾。于是,兴致勃勃地到城中最大的光学中心寻找猎物。时下最流行的 塑胶四方镜框,最时尚的红色,大大的镜框不轻易让凤眼给显现出来,价值不菲,可是却物有所值。

和之前的十几副眼镜相比,这的确是让我摆脱林亚珍形象的超炫眼镜。


This is the best that I can think of, alas, I still be adressed as "cat woman" though ... ... ... ...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

好想看看你口中說的那副超大眼鏡哦!!

呼吸的747 @ 747 is breathing said...

哪个?现在这副吗?
不是很大啦
只不过可以遮丑
比起其它女生戴的算是蛮大了~~

Anonymous said...

對對對, 現在這副.

Anonymous said...

小三开始;一开始就300度;现在过千度;被称猫头鹰....
我们超级相似的经历!
来~同声一哭!!

呼吸的747 @ 747 is breathing said...

吓?!你也是小三开始吗?
我知道我们都是猫头鹰
可是并不知道你原来也是自从小三开始
我们就是... ...
哎哎...

Anonymous said...

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